{"id":432,"date":"2007-07-05T10:27:53","date_gmt":"2007-07-05T10:27:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/haysanta.am\/?p=432"},"modified":"2018-07-05T10:28:18","modified_gmt":"2018-07-05T10:28:18","slug":"hardship-and-separation-and-dreams-in-verse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/haysanta.am\/en\/hardship-and-separation-and-dreams-in-verse\/","title":{"rendered":"Hardship and separation and dreams in verse"},"content":{"rendered":"

By\u00a0Ruzanna Amiraghyan<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Emma and Gevorg Malkhasyan\u2019s home turned into dust during the 1988 earthquake.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe always had a full house: I used to love cooking different things, very tasty, and we would frequently cook several times per day.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pregnant with her third baby after the earthquake Emma took her two elder children Frida and Siranush and moved to the Russian town of Sochi, where Gevorg\u2019s parents joined them there after a while. After two years in Sochi, the family rejoined in Gyumri, and there gave birth to Lusine and Hayk in a new three-room apartment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But the earthquake, the collapse of the Soviet Union and the following war and the socio-economic crisis forced the Malkhasyan couple to join the army of the unemployed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The hardships of the large family became even more severe as Gevorg\u2019s parents fell ill.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe had no work, while taking care after two seriously ill people, so we sold our apartment to cover the expenses after my husband\u2019s parents\u2019 death. The sum hardly covered the debts and was just enough to get this small house,\u201d says Emma.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Like many people in Gyumri the Malkhasyans live in a two-room narrow cottage \u2013 badly illuminated and deprived of heating \u2013 where the small kitten named \u201cTchitchu\u201d (the colloquial word for \u201cworm\u201d) and an always barking brown dog share the Malkhasyans\u2019 life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe used the children\u2019s bookcases last year to heat the house a bit,\u201d says Emma. \u201cThere is a gas line here, but we don\u2019t use it, because of the money.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It would cost about $80 to activate the gas line, plus money for pipes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Last year the municipality gave 10,000 drams (about $27) per each family living in domiks (small homes) to buy fuel for the winter, but this money can\u2019t buy much fuel,\u201d says Emma.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe consume electricity for just 2,000 drams (about $5) per month by all means,\u201d says Emma, adding: \u201cWhat can I do?! I have to manage. We stay under the blankets, when it\u2019s too cold.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gevorg left for Russia just five months ago to find work. However he managed to send money just once, with the purpose of buying a TV set.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cChildren had no TV. He sent the money saying it was for that,\u201d says Emma.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And the ties between Gevorg and his family severed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now the monthly income of the Malkhasyan family is $79 allowance.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI take products on credit in the nearby kiosks and pay the debt back when we get the allowance,\u201d says Emma.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI do any work I can. I knit clothes. But this work does not happen very often. My daughter tried to work in a small shop. She got her salary for only two months, and then the shopkeeper found a deficit in the balance and forced the shop girls to cover the losses. My daughter left the work.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cMy youngest have not been at school for the last two weeks: they have neither clothes, nor shoes. I don\u2019t know what to do. Lusine asks me: \u2018How long are we going to sit at home?\u2019 But what can I do? I don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The children wear whatever clothes they have in turn and do not complain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI found some work in summer. I bought some copybooks for school, but children still have no textbooks. Only Hayk has,\u201d says Emma. \u201cBut I can\u2019t say he is too much eager to study, he rather prefers going in for sports. He likes sports very much.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hayk is going in for boxing. And though he hasn\u2019t got any sporting equipment, he keeps going to the trainings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The mother says Hayk has a dream; he wants his father back and also: \u201cto grow up, to earn money and buy full sacks of food\u201d, so that his mother again cooks tasty meals.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I have a bit of money, I buy some meat and make either khinkali or pelmeni so that my children get full,\u201d she says, while Lusine, her youngest daughter fries potatoes on an oven covered with a thick layer of grease and dust.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And Anush writes poems. She opens her old copybook and reads under the moan of the wind that penetrates into the room through the pieces of cellophane replacing the window glasses in the frames.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To live\u2026<\/p>\n

Just senselessly live\u2026<\/p>\n

But what for?<\/p>\n

And whom for?<\/p>\n

To live\u2026<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t deny, and I still want,<\/p>\n

But there is no reason,<\/p>\n

Just to live?<\/p>\n

To live\u2026<\/p>\n

It may be a pleasure unknown\u2026<\/p>\n

To live\u2026<\/p>\n

May that be a dead expectation?<\/p>\n

To live\u2026<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t deny,<\/p>\n

But is there a reason at all?<\/p>\n

Maybe you come, and become the reason,<\/p>\n

To live\u2026<\/p>\n

Maybe to live for the sake of living,<\/p>\n

To live to find your love<\/p>\n

And just to devote myself to you,<\/p>\n

To live\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And maybe to live for the truth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And dreams of her father\u2019s return again\u2026<\/p>\n